How do you define "Hero"?

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Before you applaud me and give me credit, know that I didn’t walk in ready to selflessly to give up my freedom & fight this thing.  I wasn’t looking to be a saint.

Truth be told, I wanted to run the other way. 

At times I felt...trapped.

There have been so many emotions in the past couple of weeks:  

Anxiety, fear, anger, helplessness, frustration, hate.  

Pride, determination, hope, love. 

A toggle between acceptance and questioning.

Worry for the elders

and the youth that would ignore it

Anger at the leadership

and pride in the community

Fear for my own life & the people I care about 

and hope from the people who will fight it with me

I had to challenge myself and question why I chose this profession.  Why, when others have the freedom to be home, to be safe, bored, and away from the place of highest risk, illness, and death… why would I put myself in a position where I don’t have that option too?  Why didn’t I choose comfort?

But…I did choose to help people.  In some way I was cut out to know what to do for people who are at the lowest point of their lives.  I did choose to acquire the knowledge and further, to apply the skills I’ve developed in my years of experience, to help save others.

So…as much as I may not have wanted to face it, I quickly knew the answer to my own question: 

That even despite all of this, there’s nothing else I would have done.
(ok..besides the creative stuff)

I can’t imagine a life…where I never went into healthcare & nursing…

Where I’d never experience holding a dying person’s hand as they moved on

Or comforted a child who’s greatest strength showed at their hardest moments with me 

Or told a mother she would see her children again as she woke back up from anesthesia

I did have the freedom to make this choice. 

Swipe through to see conversations from within the frontline, weeks 3 & 4 of covid in NYC.

PSA. You have Covid-19.

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PSA: YOU HAVE COVID19.

No, this is not a joke. I am 99% sure this will be true for either you or someone you know by the end of this year, based on our current trajectory. .

Many of us are already walking around with this disease, AND spreading it, & don’t even know it.

We need to act based on this knowledge.

I have spent the past days flipping this sideways & upside-down, working through feelings of fear for the people,

fear for my colleagues & I,

fear for what the public doesn’t know, & frustation with our leadership & lack thereof. .

This country is NOT prepared, despite facts & numbers, despite several overworked ICU doctors from everywhere sending out warnings.

The lack of awareness & acceptance for the gravity of this situation is alarming; all you have to do is read a quick article on the patterns Italy, China, & other countries have experienced to know we will soon be following the same path.

As someone who is going to directly face & fight this monster, it truly enrages me that people have been lead to believe that this will soon “blow over.”

This will last for months.

We need to act NOW.

So, what do we do?

The bottom line is “Flattening the Curve,” aka: Social. Distancing.

It seems simple but we have to do it properly.

1. Stay 6 feet or more away from others

-While you’re at the grocery store worrying about starvation, you should probably be worrying more that you’re exposing yourself in the panicked crowds.

2. Stay away from others

3. Stay the f* home

4. Got it?

We as Americans have been cultivated to believe we are invincible, elite, & superior, so much so that the people have a false sense of security. .

Many of you have heard doctors & nurses likening this experience to being “drafted to the war.”
Maybe if you were on the front lines you’d care a little bit more.

But I’ve got news for you.

The “not my problem” attitude won’t work for you on this one.

Because it WILL be your problem. (If it isn’t already). Please. Let’s slow down the impending collapse of our system.

References via this medium article by Tomas Pueyo)

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Remember to breathe

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Friends, we have to remember to breathe.

I’m so very happy to hear that what I’m sharing in stories is helpful 💜

But please remember this: amongst all of the noise, which will inevitably get louder, you need to listen to yourself.

Don’t get lost in all of the outside chaos & rumors that fly.

Don’t lose your inner voice & forget how strong you are on your own, without scrolling Twitter, without another doctor’s updates, without the looping news break.

Things will change daily & you need to keep some part of yourself constant because it’s the one thing you do have control over.

Think sensibly, act responsibly, and help your neighbors.

Strong communities are built from strong individuals.

Let’s not forget how capable & intelligent we are. 🖤

Enter Nurse mode & The Importance of *proper handwashing

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In light of the recent pandemic that’s occurred I decided I needed to share some of my knowledge on relevant information on here.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions about the big C virus.  While we are still getting information from the CDC at the hospital & working to unveil many unknowns (like the fact that the virus may be able to live on surfaces for up to 9 days), there are some things that remain constant & certain, in both the current situation & with all infectious diseases.

It seems SO simple, but handwashing remains the #1 form of prevention. NOT N95 masks. (This nytimes article about COVID19 & coronavirus also addressed this yesterday).

And not a quick 5 second rinse.

Proper hand hygiene is nursing school 101 & also everyday hygiene 101, but you’d be surprised: I would be willing to bet that 90% of common public does not perform proper handwashing. 

Yea, I said that.  

Masks are most effective for preventing spread from people who already have the disease, & general public buying up all of the masks limits what’s available for them + us healthcare workers.  They’re also futile without the annual fitting & training we get on proper use.

So without further ado here is my guide for proper handwashing:

-Sing “Row-row-row-your-boat” 2x or the “Happy Birthday” song 2x, while you LATHER.  This should last for 20 seconds, then rinse.  Effective handwashing should really be 30 seconds long. 

-(Turn on a timer & do your typical routine.  How long was that? Not 30, right?).

-Hand sanitizer up to 4x in a row only.  Then you have to wash your hands again.

-Wash with soap & water any time the hands are soiled; if you get anything on them hand sanitizer is not the answer.

-Dry them thoroughly. Wet hands transmit bacteria much faster than dry hands.

If you don’t do this, you’re spreading germs. Think about that. 

Think about your kids, the people you care about - and the food that gets prepped for you. 

Prevention instead of reaction.

*Additional reminders:

-Cover you mouth when you cough or sneeze with the SLEEVE of your arm, not your hands that are subsequently going to touch multiple public surfaces.

The amount of people who still don’t do this is extremely disturbing to me, the amount of people I see leaving bathrooms without washing their hands, and I can only imagine what else.
If you fail to practice proper hygiene & public etiquette in times such as now, you will especially get looks & stares if you’re THAT person.  

-If you have cough, fever, rash, or shortness of breath- go get checked & don’t wait. 

-Stay home and isolate yourself if you don’t feel well. 

So, there you have it.  The basics of hygiene. Handwashing is KEY. 

Share this because we need to EDUCATE & take care of each other. Now more than ever. 

Please leave any questions in the comments!

Doing it all

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I often get asked how I “do it all.” Well, let me tell you the reality of it. I don’t do it the way lots of other bloggers & influencers do it.

Many will plan outfits ahead of time, anywhere from 2-10 at a time. Then shoot these monthly, maybe even weekly with a photographer. Then line up all the posts and content in a nicely organized feed-planning app.

I personally cannot do this. It is simply not realistic for me with my full-time job, and I had to tell myself to be ok with that a while ago.

The last “proper” & planned shoot I had was for the @lorealmakeup lipstick I recently shared about. 

Before that, it was my mom taking my photos on our travels...

Before that, it was this shoot with @felipeespinal @shellyxudesign and @imandreslozano at @facebookny ...in August.

I work off of a backup of content (I will forever have endless travel stories yet to be shared, but you can always ask!), and that’s just the nature of my balance.

I used to think that my way of doing this - not being able to meet up with my other blogger friends to shoot regularly, not having enough consistency in schedule to hire one or two regular photographers in advance - made me less of a “legitimate” blogger or influencer.

But then I realized this was nonsense. Duh. I have a full-time job that most other people don’t have, let alone understand (which is why I’ve spent more time & effort into explaining that part of my life). .

No two people are the same, we all just have to juggle the best way we see fit.

I guess my bottom line is that- while you see me “doing it all” - I do have to make sacrifices here & there and adapt things differently from how you might imagine each role to typically be. .

As always...there is so much more behind the scenes than meets the eye.

Photos above by Felipe Espinal, dress by Shelly Xu